So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

On a tusday night, three guys walk into a bar After realising they have to work they proceed to exit

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

thumb_up thumb_down -10

jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If Johnny has 4 dollars and Clarissa has 7 dollars, how many dollars do they have all together? 11 dollars Knock knock Who's There? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny and Clarrisa, all together we have 11 dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops