How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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Why did Lisa let go of the monkey bars? she was being molested

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

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KEVIN CRUMMY SMELLS LIKE SARAHS (I)

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops