Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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