Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

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What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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A dyslectic man walks into a bra. It was dark and he didn't see the laundry his wife hanged on the clothes line.

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Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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