Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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Half life 3 confirmed

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Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

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What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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why did the black man drink grape kool-aid kool-aid refreshed him after a hard days work out in the field picking cotton

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

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1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

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Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops