How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

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You:Knock knock friend:who's there you:come in friend come on who you:come in your mother

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops