Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

thumb_up thumb_down -14

During a boxing match, a white man faces an Asian. The Asian loses. Next the white man faces a Mexican. The Mexican also loses. Now the white man faces a black man. "Aw screw it!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the pornography filmer say to the asain man as he was having sex? im taking a highly pixelated recording of you and your partner engaging in sexual intercourse

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

thumb_up thumb_down -14

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops