Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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I Have a Black Friend

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops