Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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hey guys im gay

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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Why did the little boy throw a clock out of the window? Because he wanted to break it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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