ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

why couldn't the blind man hear? because he was also deaf.

What's green and gets you high? Marijuana.

haha

FOX News: Fair and balanced

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...