Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

What's green and gets you high? Marijuana.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

hey guys im gay

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

I like that, but why am I happy?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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