Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

In soviet Russia...things are different

Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

how many flys in a box six --sticksack

What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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