What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Democracy.

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why did the chicken cross the road? cause kade touches himself at night

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

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Why did the black man laugh at my joke? k.

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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