That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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What does the fox say? "It's called a hustle, sweetheart."

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your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

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were you expecting a joke

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What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

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why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally murdered six's family

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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dallen loves penis

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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