Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

Chuck Norris.

Knock knock. Get out!!

A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

What is your name? My name is Jeff

How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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