there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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What do you call a Mexican that is jumping off a building? A suicidal jumper!

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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Kidding, not trucing, Dylan sucks prick. Brock likes his mums butt.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Why couldn't little Billy fall asleep. Because Billy didn't have any counting skills to be able to coins sheep

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops