when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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What is similar between a horse and a zebra? - If you chopped of there heads, they would die.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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What do you call a black person who has fallen? an ambulance

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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Your big dick.

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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