What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What is the different on a black guy and a bicycle ? The black guy steals the bicycle, but the bicycle dont steal the black guy. Yes, my bike got stolen ...

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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