What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What's a good joke? Not this one.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Albert <3 Hunter

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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What is the difference between a park bench and a Mexican? The park bench can actually suport a family A. Woj

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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