How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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GINGERVITIS! 1. redhair 2.freckles 3.no soul 4.depression/anger 5.gay JLR

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

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Gay rights.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Jew logic fail: Jew: We have endured suffering for thousands of years! Guy: And how old are you again? Jew: eight. Moral: If you see a goddamn moral in this one then post it yourself :P

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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