Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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guess what? bannanas

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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your mom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops