How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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