Why did the Muslim man burn the American flag? The flag had touched the ground, which, by tradition, means it has to be disposed. And the proper way of disposing it is by burning.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

thumb_up thumb_down +9

"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops