charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

Why didn't the disabled kid cross the road? He didn't make it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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