Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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i saw amango it splootered

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

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What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

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Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Why couldn't the girl talk... she chocked to death -Alan Davis

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The FCC

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like peanut butter Can you fly?

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

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Why does Jimmy Neutron have a big head? Heredity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops