What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the clown sad? Because he was found guilty of raping and murdering 33 young men, and sentenced to death for 12 of those murders by a jury of his piers.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Gay rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops