Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

FUCK YOU

why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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