What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An Irishman with a metal bar (like a pole)

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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what are you mike bibby?

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind, How about you?

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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Justin Beiber is a good singer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Roses are cars, violets are rude, this poem makes no sense, neither do you

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

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your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops