How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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What happens when a baby stops crying? it dies.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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Boy: what to hear a joke? girl: sure. Boy: woman rights.

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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David Cameron

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What comes after 69? 70

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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Josh Moran sticks CD's up his dick to see how fun it is to give a boy anal.

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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