I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops