Why do fat people commit suicide

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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A boy asks a wolf, "whats the time mr wolf?" The wolf does not answer. Wolves possess neither watches, nor the neurone in their brain required to talk.

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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