Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

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What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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