You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops