My jeans

What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

What do you call a bunch of whiteguys running down a hill? An Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill? A Mudslide What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill? A Jailbreak

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

(Knocks on Helen Keller's door) You: Knock knock Helen:....

There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

What's the difference between celery and a truck?

Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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