What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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what do you call a black chef glendon

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops