What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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I went to church.. i didn't get raped. I went to school... I didn't get raped. I went into a back alley... I didn't get raped. I went home... I didn't get raped. Today was better than yesterday...

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

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Robin get in the batmobile!

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Your girlfriend.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there could be several reasons. The sight of another chicken, its wondering imagination, but because chickens cannot speak, therefore, can never know the true answer.

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops