Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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what did one computer say to the other .........

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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Do you have to be so, you know... Open about what we are gonna do and stuff? I mean I know some people here, and you are a married man and you know.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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