A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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Knock knock knock OCD

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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