What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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Frontbut-

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A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

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Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

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Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

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Josh is sooo great at blowing, xoxo Dylan Hodge.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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A russian, a jew, and a black guy are walking down the street. The midget trips and knocks into the jew who in turn knocks into the black guy. It turns out that they all know each other from high school. They ended up going out for lunch and drinks and it actually turned into a great day.

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Want to hear a joke? Obama

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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