When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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what do you call a jew hanging from a tree? dead

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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Want to hear a joke? Obama

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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