what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

thumb_up thumb_down +1

3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +1

jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops