Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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