Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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I don't get it

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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