What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

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Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

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An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

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Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What's just not right? Left

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Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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