*knock knock* i have diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ring around the rosy. A pocket full of posies. Ashes. Ashes. I just set a dead baby on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -8

people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops