i dont fisish anythi

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because its rayseans favorite number

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

thumb_up thumb_down +5

quantum physics?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

thumb_up thumb_down +5

teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops