What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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A man went skydiving and tragically died.

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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