How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

Roses are red, and many other colors too.

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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