Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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were at work systems r down

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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