How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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