Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No, but considering there has not been a single man to walk on the moon since 1972, it'd be difficult to generate any kind of revenue on this natural satellite.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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What did the black man say to the mexican? Hello

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops