whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down -14

My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

thumb_up thumb_down -14

bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is a holocaust survivors favorite food nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

my ilkshake brings all the boys in the yard. and the local health inspector's like , have you got a permit to be selling dairy beverages from a home based business?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why was kade sad? he shit himself

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops