Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Sally fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Stop driving smart cars you fags

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

every knight i see an owl at window

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. Splash.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops