Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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Why were the Jews stuck in Germany? Because Joseph Rosenstein and his Jewish family missed their train out of Frankfurt to go to Paris, and so they had to stay another night in their hotel.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Knock Knock Who's There? Steve Steve who? Your friend Steve, you called and told me to come over. Oh, come in.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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no

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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