What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the first ant say to the second ant? Nothing. Ants are incapable of communicating via speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Eh yo Sean u mr. Kingston Hey, how are you doing?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black man at school the janitor

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from the farmer's field. The family were not too disheartened, as the rest were still contained.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops