A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" A few people laugh, but the horse, incapable of speech, does not. He is unfamiliar with this location and begins to panic. In his panic his leg is broken. He is put down shorty thereafter.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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nothing

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Why don't men want to marry virgins? They are wary of women who are inexperienced and who they may be sexually incompatible with.

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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