What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

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A black man shoots someone. He was a cop and he killed a dangerous man who attacked him.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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Maths.

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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