How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Roses are red Im adopted

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yesterday, a girl asked me why a guy is Bro if he bangs alot of chicks, and chicks are hoes if they do alot of guys. i said to her “well, if one key can open a lot of locks, then it is the master key. if a lock can be opened by alot of keys, then it’s a shittyass lock, isn’t it

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What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

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69

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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did you hear about the circus fire? it was tragic and hundreds of people were killed.

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

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Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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What's worse than sitting through a boring class? Sitting on a bus that a terrorist is about to blow up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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