What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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This is my favorite antijoke.

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What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he got hit by a car because he wasn't aware of the dangers of not looking both ways. Bufoon

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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